Okinawa, Japan

We recently returned from a week-long vacation to Okinawa, Japan. This southern island is warm and tropical, and only a two-hour plane ride away. I was dreaming of white sandy beaches, tanning myself by the hotel pool, and dining on delicious food. Loren and I have never been on a fancy vacation before, so we decided to pack up and go. But because we brought our four kids under seven along too, I definitely needed to reevaluate my expectations before heading out. So, in reality I was hoping for some much-needed family bonding time, and a little rest and relaxation. We were about 60% successful.

Saturday morning, late-October

A new love of mine is travelling domestic in Japan. After a leisurely plane ride with fast check in and a breezy security screening, we exit our plane and weave through the airport to find our rental car. We drive north through the large city of Naha towards our hotel in Onna. As we travel the southern portion of the island, an American radio station playing in the background, we observe miles of concrete gates topped with barbed wire. I already knew there were military bases in Japan, but it feels a bit like the twilight zone, knowing we are in Japan and yet feeling like we are right back in America. We observe soba shops sitting next to A &W’s, numerous signs in English with military insignia, and many American military walking the sidewalks. We stop by a large shopping area for lunch called the American Village, and I feel so silly trying to order our lunch and ice cream in Japanese after learning all of the staff speak English. After a little review of my world history, I learn that a very bloody battle was fought in Okinawa during WWII. After the war ended, Japan was occupied by the allied forces from 1945-1952. Yet, Okinawa was occupied until 1972 and currently hosts over half of the US bases in Japan. It is definitely a little surreal to see the blend of the American culture alongside the culture of the Japanese. As we continue north, the scenery gradually turns into Japanese country side and we feel like we are back to our adventure on a foreign tropical island.

Picture snorkeling in crystal clear tropical waters, little dori fish swimming around you and through the coral. The October sun shining, beating through your skin and bringing relaxation to every tense muscle, and warmth to your soul. You are watching your husband interact with his daughters with such deep and real joy, amused at their giggles and eagerness to play. You walk together along the beach and find treasures with every new step, excitement and awe in the little faces of your children. Then at some point, it all falls apart and your six-year-old is throwing herself at you and says she hates the beach and wants to go back to the hotel. She refuses to snorkel and never uses the new gear you bought her. You forgot your 2-year old’s bathing suit and now she is crying about the sand in her butt cheeks and keeps telling you how hungry she is. You think to yourself, maybe you wouldn’t be hungry if you had eaten one of the millions of things I tried to feed you for breakfast? Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Imagine the excitement of hiking through the jungle to find a waterfall. Ready for an adventure, backpack packed with your favorite snacks to eat upon reaching your destination. Laughing at mom almost stepping on a snake and screaming. Playing a silly imagination game, “what if a plane crashed and we were stranded on this island…and we had to make this our home. Where would we set up our camp, where would your room be, and in which little water fall would you shower?”  (btw Loren and I have been watching too many episodes of Lost lately). Observing butterflies and dragonflies and little crabs. The invigorating feeling of light exercise as you hike through a vast landscape surrounded by tall hovering trees and a river flowing between massive boulders. About half way in, your 7-year-old develops a new theory– she hates hiking and doesn’t think she is going to make it. Your 2-year-old refuses to walk and you regretfully tell your husband how (oops) you forgot the baby carrier and he has to hike the entire trail with a toddler in his arms. The kids are lukewarm impressed with the actual waterfall and more excited about the chips you packed.

Taste the deliciousness of an Okinawan izakaya. Beautiful, bright sushi made from the catch of the day. Tropical drinks topped with an umbrella, flavors of local mango. Fried whole fish, fresh wavy soba noodles, cubes of marinated pork and succulent pieces of seared tuna served in a long dish with avocado and salad greens. Then ordering a second and third round because it was all so satisfying. In the background two woman play music and sing to the crowd, locals joining in on the last song. And you just sit there, spending two hours ordering food and drinks and enjoying each other’s company. After dinner everyone participates in a barefoot walk along the beach, the full moon lighting the path back to the hotel. To top it off, you take a soak with your girls in the Japanese style bath before bed time and enjoy a snack on the balcony with your husband in peace. Ok, so maybe this was all worth it.

Our vacation was a bit of a juxtaposition, a contrasting of extremes. The beauty of the island sectioned off by the fences of the US military. The fun of being on vacation and building memories conflicting with the misery of wining, crying, and fighting. The carefree relaxation of a tropical island vacation contrasting with the parental duties that come with bringing along four children. Family love and bonding between and among family feuds. In the end, we ate lots of ice cream and did create many memories. Midweek, I was listening to an interview on the Don’t Mom Alone Podcast that featured Elyse Fiitzpatrick. She was discussing the importance of fostering relationships with your children when they are in your home to create a lasting family bond. She said that one of the most important things to do is to just have fun together. She confessed that it wasn’t always fun, and that her kids would complain and argue and grumble. It was like a light bulb went off, and I was reminded that in this season my life is a little crazy, never perfect and seldom meeting expectation. That wherever our next vacation may be, it will probably still include fights in the car, disagreements on where to go or what to eat, the effects of the differing moods of six humans, and feeling tired. But maybe my kids won’t see this vacation for all the things that went wrong, but will remember all of the fun…and that we love them so much, we wanted them to come along on our tropical island vacation too.